37. A Married Man From Texas Living In Toronto

I was in the grocery store to pick up some dinner. It was on the second floor at the top of a long escalator. Inside the store I ran into my mom, who was leaving. I didn't know you shopped here, she said. Yeah, I shop here sometimes, I replied, but usually I shop at Loblaws.

Then my Mom left and I headed for the upright freezers at the back of the store. Inside the freezer were these gigantic triangular slices of pizza with no wrapping or packaging. I flipped through the slices, unimpressed with the sparse toppings. People kept reaching past me to paw through the slices.

I got grossed out and turned to leave, but then in the back of the store I saw Hillary Clinton: pantsuit, eyes shining, shaking people's hands.

Hmm, I thought. Why not meet Hillary? I stepped forward and said, Hi, Hillary. I was impressed by her handshake: firm, but not too firm. She looked me right in the eyes. And what's your name? she said. I told her my name and she smiled: That's a nice name.